Lights. Camera. Action. Bullshit!

No sooner have our city employees cleared the champagne glasses at Getty House from Antonio's pre-Oscar party last week, or read of his recent lobbying exploits in far-away Washington (I guess they turned off his phone), then we learn this morning that he's clamping down on spending -- by everyone else.

"Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa sent a letter to city departments Wednesday demanding a freeze on much of their spending, from the purchase of new furniture to the use of food and beverages at city events," the Dog Trainer reported.

That sound you hear is every dog in the neighborhood howling with laughter.

We're living in a comedy that would probably earn an Oscar -- if it weren't so tragic.

The Trainer's reporter David Zahniser, as always, has at least some of the story:

"With the city facing a $484-million shortfall in the fiscal year that starts July 1, Villaraigosa also instructed several departments to halt negotiations for leased office space and barred any efforts to remodel city offices."

DZ, as he is known around City Hall, which is the opposite of ZD, which is short for my pal Zuma Dogg  added the memo does not apply to several city departments, including the Department of Water and Power, the Port of Los Angeles, Los Angeles World Airports and two agencies that oversee pension funds for retired and civilian city workers.

I guess those guys, who have huge fat-filled budgets, can buy food and beverages, purchase furniture, rent space and, well, party, as Prince (a popular dog name) sung, "like it's 1999," which really was a good year.

Problem is it ain't 1999, which is probably when Dick Riordan should have started working on this budget mess.

Woof! 

If you thought the massive electricity rate hike about to be rubber-stamped next week by the DWP Commission is bad news, think again.

There is even worse news today in the New York Times: The DWP "is losing about $6 million a week or an estimated $500 million by the end of the 2011 fiscal year."

Who knew? The DWP losing money? How is that possible?

Of course, it isn't, The DWP just sent $147 million in "surplus" power revenue to the city general fund, part of its 8 percent annual revenue donation that comes on top of the 10 percent electricity tax. It just gave checks for 3.25 percent of their salaries to its 8,000 employees with some getting back pay raises for two years of up to nearly 6 percent and granted raises of up to 4 percent for each of the next four years.

But Jennifer Steinhauer -- the NYT's Los Angeles Bureau chief who's heading to Washington to cover Congress -- knows all about the DWP losing money along with other facts nobody in this left coast town has heard.

Nobody at least except Chief Deputy Mayor Jay Carson, who appears to the only source for Steinhauer's exclusive report under the headline "Los Angeles Electric Rate Linked to Solar Power."

Undoubtedly, Steinhauer and Carson crossed paths when she was covering the 2008 presidential race and he was Hillary Clinton's spokesman so his word is as good as gold.

She reports that the DWP "is poised to pass a roughly 5 percent rate increase on electricity use...(the DWP Commission) is expected to vote next week to increase by seven-tenths of 1 cent the current user rate of 12 cents per kilowatt hour."

That doesn't sound so bad. But then it isn't what the DWP is seeking unless Carson has shared with her insider information that none of us know. The 5 percent rate hike hardly would begin to cover the DWP supposed deficit and the provide for "renewable energy purchases and programs, including one that would repay people or businesses that use solar panels to contribute to the power grid."

To Steinhauer, the rate hike "is equivalent to a carbon tax because all consumers will see rates fall as the city becomes less reliant on coal-powered energy."

I get it now: Rate hikes mean lower rates. No wonder she is best known for her obsession with rattlesnakes that are plaguing all of LA and even brings them into this story's opening with the observation that in LA "environmentalists outnumber rattlesnakes in many parts of the sprawling city."

In contrast to Steinhauer's report, the cost of going green runs into the billions of dollars and a 5 percent rate hike doesn't come close to paying the bill. The DWP's own consultant's report calls for a rate hike of 2.7 cents per kilowatt hour -- four times what Steinhauer reports -- and Carson's boss wants an additional surcharge as well with even higher rates coming year after year..

In Steinhauer's math, the modest 5 percent rate hike will somehow "shore up the (DWP) budget shortfall, in the hope of protecting the utility's bond rating ... (and) go to renewable energy sources, like wind farms, and to help subsidize a program that would essentially repay solar-panel users for feeding energy into the power grid."

Even beyond all those costs to be covered by the rate hike, "Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa and his staff are billing the increase as a move that will bring jobs to the city. Los Angeles has never embraced the idea of solar energy, largely because of the high cost of the programs."

"There are so few solar panel manufacturing companies in the city, mayoral aides have had to scramble to find an appropriate place to announce the new plan later this week."

"A well-crafted carbon surcharge achieves two goals," Los Angeles's chief deputy mayor, Jay Carson, said. "The first is a drastic reduction in fossil fuel usage for energy, but the second, and more important for Los Angeles, is the creation of thousands of green-collar jobs."

Finally, the dashing Jay Carson appears after having so successfully spun a New York Times star reporter who clearly made no effort to check the "facts" she was being spoon-fed.

The question arises then: What was Carson trying to achieve? A test drive of how the LA press corps and populace are going to be spun? Deluding Wall Street to somehow believe DWP actually has a solar plan so it will lend the utility money without lowering its bond rating?

I don't know. I just thought you ought to know how the spinmeisters like Carson operate and how even star reporters like Steinhauer and newspapers like the NYT can't be trusted any more than your ordinary citizen blogger without checking the facts yourself.

You can do that by going to OurLA.org, which broke the rate hike plan story on Feb. 26, and read the DWP report on rate hikes prepared by PA Consulting.

Take a deep breath, Jan, and sock it to me -- you're the LA Legislator of the Year. Here's the announcement from BreatheLA:

Next Month: Breath of Life Awards

BREATHE LA presents the 2010 Breath of Life Awards to be held at the Petersen Automotive Museum on Thursday, April 8, 2010.  The awards recognize honorees who strive to promote clean air and healthy lungs in Los Angeles County each and every day.     WHO:            Mr. Masa Tanaka, CEO of Union Bank: Breath of Life Award                       Los Angeles City Councilwoman Jan Perry: Legislator of the Year Award                      Los Angeles Unified School District: Community Impact Award                      BMW Group: Innovation Award               WHEN:          April 8, 2010                      6:00pm -10:00pm                                     WHERE:        Petersen Automotive Museum                     6060 Wilshire Boulevard                     Los Angeles, CA 90036   TICKETS:     Cost is $75 per individual ticket. Sponsorships are also available. An estimated 150 - 200 dignitaries, community leaders and clean technology experts will gather for an inspirational evening to benefit the most vulnerable in our community through BREATHE LA's high quality programs and services.  The event includes private hosted museum tours as well as special viewings of new vehicles and green energy products.  There will also be a silent auction, a dinner and awards reception, and live jazz music.

Imagine the scenes at the Pacific Dining Car and in the back rooms of City Hall in the next few days as the nation's highest paid municipal officials and their armies of staffers, each with their taxpayer-supplied Priuses, back slap and praise each other for all their hard work above and beyond the call of duty.

Job well done.

High fives all around. They have been in combat these last few weeks. They have seen the enemy and it is us, the taxpayers, the businesses, the people. And they have survived through daily sessions, and the pitfalls of posturing and hypocrisy as if they had braved incoming shells and snipers and improvised explosive devices.

No, it hasn't been easy but they have gotten through and have lived to destroy again another day.

You can understand their need to fly off to the nation's capital to wine and dine with the men and women at the pinnacle of the political machinery of public deceit, or to spend a few days on the beaches of Maui far from the maddening crowd of ordinary folks begging for crumbs from their table of power.

Such is the burdens of self-importance in an age of transformation when the rules no longer apply, when the center of inertia no longer holds, when the abnormal has become the norm.

These are the people we have anointed to lead us through these times of troubles and they are delighted to have danced and preened, to have shown their heartfelt concerns, to have made it through pretending to have faced the demon of their massive deficits without having done anything at all.

And they are still in place in their high stations to enjoy the privileges and perks they have come to expect as a birthright for their virtue and goodness.

Oh, what a happy day it is, what a well deserved vacation they have coming next week for their public service.

They have confused and fragmented the populace and shown their superiority and put the  grumbling rabble in their place, worried about themselves and their parks and libraries and their petty concerns as they try to preserve the quality of their little lives.

It was brilliant and worth all the sweat of donning their fancy clothes every day though they will have to call in chits from their wealthy friends to cover the inflated dry cleaning bills they have from having to show up at work every day.

Of course, they never all show up at the same time.

That's one of the wonders of the Council. They arrange their schedules so that they have just enough members -- a dirty dozen -- to enact everything they and their puppet masters want on unanimous votes on first reading.

The highest paid city workers transferring from general fund positions to the Department of Water and Power under threat of massive layoffs have gotten raises of up to 16 percent.

Responding to a request from OurLA.org, the Personnel Department provided a list Wednesday of the 11 highest paid employees who have transferred to the DWP, Harbor and Airport.

Nine have joined the DWP, one the Harbor and one the Airport.

See the first list of transfers, go to OurLA.org

GO TO OURLA.ORG TO LEARN ABOUT THE DEAL TO SPIN OFF CITY GOLF COURSES AND SAVE JOBS FOR REC & PARKS DEPT. WORKERS

I'm writing this post from my doghouse in Ron's backyard but I'm not actually in my doghouse. I'm in the kitchen hoping he drops part of his breakfast on the floor as usual so I can get something to eat without lying next to the damn Pavlovian MannersMinder machine that's supposed to change my personality by dribbling out two  kibble bits at a time.

Yeah, right. Good luck. Guys beat me with sticks when I was a pup and couldn't break me. They dumped me on the streets and I survived. I am Bruno, LA's Watchdog, nipping at the heels of all those abusers of pets and even people.

I've wished sometimes I could be in two places at once to clean up the mess out there ever faster.

That's why I got so inspired this morning and decided to prowl the backyard and push the automatic writing button on the computer..

The Dog Trainer's David Zahniser's and Maeve Reston's showed me the light with their exhaustive investigative piece revealing how our City Council members actually vote while eating  sandwiches in the back rooms behind the council chambers and cutting deals with lobbyists who get free parking and free access as if they were Council members too, which they might as well be.

You think fleas are bad?

It seems their presence isn't even needed in the Council Chamber when votes are taken. They just push a button and the computer automatically votes yes for hungry council members, or those who want to meet with lobbyists and, as the Dog Trainer points out, the members of the mayor's staff for some mysterious reason.

"The city clerk's office, which maintains the council's official record, does not track how often members leave the council floor while still being counted as present," our own Woodward and Bernstein wrote. "Times reporters (Dave and Maeve, it rhymes) monitored the back rooms repeatedly from August to February, however, and found that at least half of the council used them for private sessions during public meetings."

Seven months???

Geez, the city's finances are going down the toilet (where voting members often are hanging out) and the Dog Trainer is firing half its reporters but Dave & Maeve - I really do love that! - are sneaking around to catch Dennis Zine eating a salami sandwich with lobbyist Ben Reznik or spot somebody grabbing a smoke.

Any minute now I expect them in Ron's backyard sneaking a peek on what he's up to. I can't wait, it would be more fun than biting the poolman. .

Every good story deserves a follow-up.

Woof!

If ever there was something to go to war about in the shocking mismanagement of city affairs, it's the Department of Water & Power.

It's time to put the public in charge of this renegade agency, the nation's largest municipally-owned utility.

For a century, the DWP has operated as a law unto itself, unaccountable to no one. From the theft of Owens Valley water, to the land grab of the San Fernando Valley, through back room deals and sweetheart contracts and its refusal to "green" its power supply, the DWP has been run as if it were a privately-owned business beyond the reach of the people or political leaders.

It is the source of the Chinatown story, the darkest chapter in LA's history that has become a never ending story.

Over more than a decade now, bully boy union leader Brian D'Arcy has taken charge of the DWP as if he were chairman of the board and principal shareholder, blackmailing city officials into approving stupendous contracts under threat of strikes that would shut down the water and power systems, under threat of destroying their careers with the millions of campaign cash at his disposal.

He thrived on the DWP's reliance on coal-burning power plants because it meant lots of high-salaried jobs for IBEW workers. He insisted that all power sources be DWP-owned power plants because it meant lots of jobs for his union members. He squelched efforts to develop wind and solar energy resources because it meant fewer or no jobs for IBEW workers.

He constructed a system of work rules that guaranteed vast amounts of overtime whether or not there was urgent work to be done. He protected workers loyal to the union and destroyed those with loyalty to the public interest. He has corrupted the Civil Service system by having promotional jobs filled by "bid", not a competitive examination as is done in the rest of the City. He treated general managers, commissioners and elected officials as if they were his hirelings.

The result is a power grid that has deteriorated and is breaking down, wage structures that are far above the industry average and 40 percent higher than other city workers doing comparable work and the worst renewable energy record of any utility in California.

Measure B for 400 megawatts of rooftop solar was D'Arcy's creation and it was the union's money that drove the $1.6 million campaign for it that failed in the face of the push-back by ordinary citizens with virtually no money spent in opposition.

What was wrong with it then is what's wrong with it now -- it requires the DWP to own and maintain all major rooftop solar installations in the city to create even more IBEW jobs even though it dramatically increases costs to the public, stifles the growing private solar industry and slows the achievement of significant amounts of solar since DWP has no substantive experience in the field.

Yet, the mayor and Council are moving forward on virtually the same plan as Measure B because it is the price they are willing to pay to get solar power, or more accurately the price they are willing to let the public pay.

The DWP is desperate for more revenue to close contracts for wind and solar just to meet the 20 percent by 2010 goal mandated by the legislature under AB32 four years ago. That's right, DWP waited until the last minute to meet the mandate which says a lot about the management and the leadership of the "greenest big city mayor" in America.

Now the mayor wants to start a monthly $2.50 surcharge that will rapidly escalate, supposedly to replace power plants that burn the dirtiest fossil fuel, coal, with plants that burn another fossil fuel, natural gas. The plants are immensely costly, still dirty, if less so than coal and have a life expectancy of 70 years -- eliminating the possibility LA will be able to take, advantage of expected major advances in green technology for most of a century.

That's small change compared to the 20 percent power rate hike the DWP wants to impose by April 1 by eliminating the 4 percent cap on pass-through surcharges for fluctuations in the price of fuel.

Once the cap on the ECAF (Energy Cost Adjustment Factor)  is lifted, you can be certain your rates will soar even more than the 60 percent they will have gone up by 2011 under our current mayor.

The 60 percent is the same percentage the mayor has increased the transfer of DWP's "surplus" electricity revenue to the general fund. It's even more than the 30 percent he has increased gross pay at the DWP, if that's any consolation.

Soaring wages on top of already inflated salaries, soaring rates, soaring revenue to the general fund from the 10 percent electricity tax and 8 percent revenue transfer, lack of renewable energy, deteriorating infrastructure --- the costs are spectacular and rates will continue to go up and up, undoubtedly doubling or tripling.

Power rates are going up everywhere. They have to because we must reduce our pollution and we must reduce our dependency on foreign fuel.

The question is value for our money, solid plans that achieve important goals, lower costs, increased efficiency, an end to featherbedding and sweetheart contracts, complete transparency, tough enforcement of breaches of contract by consultants and contractors.

Cleaning up the DWP scandal.has become the battle cry for a better city. We must demand accountability, break the political power of the IBEW, require managerial competence, solid planning and transparency -- all these changes are necessary before we move forward and consider how we raise rates.

Rate structures are as much about fairness to all and pressure to conserve as they are the need to modernize our power system.

If you're not prepared to fight over what's going on at the DWP, you might as well give up and let them do whatever they want or get out of town as so many have done.

The DWP is the city's cash cow, the engine that drives its corruption.

The mayor and council are preparing to take huge chunks of DWP revenue to buy jobs and subsidize economic development. It is a utility, not an economic development agency. Ample power does provide for economic development by its nature, not by giveaways of public money to insiders.

This is a fight that residents and the business community cannot afford to lose. It's one thing to pay more to get something that's good for us all. It's another thing to pay more and get nothing at all. 

EDITOR'S NOTE: Shortly before 2 p.m., the city website came back up with a rotating picture graphic of city services on top.

Confidence in the city's leadership and its motives has reached such a low point that the latest breakdown of the city's website where you can see what the City Council and mayor are up to has triggered a wave of paranoia across the activist community.

I've heard some several people who normally see bungling incompetence and greed in City Hall's action who suspect that the website breakdown as part of a disinformation conspiracy at a time when critical decisions our being made this week on the city budget crisis before the Council takes an unearned vacation next week.

And  it comes at a time when next week the DWP Commission plans to rubber stamp massive rate hikes by April 1 for an undefined green energy plan and to pay worker salaraies inflated by the latest round of pay hikes.

Said one reader: "Don't you think its odd the city web site is down?  I don't think they want people reviewing the motions this week.  Too many hot buttons issues."

At OurLA.org, a reader who believes the city deliberately wants to keep people in the dark tracked the city website's changing its story over the last 12 hours:

"This page is temporarily unavailable due to scheduled maintenance on [very old date]"

Much later, they changed the message:

"This page is temporarily unavailable due to scheduled maintenance on Sunday, March 7, 2010"

Today, they changed the message to read:

"This page is temporarily unavailable due to scheduled maintenance on Monday, March 8, 2010"

Today, they changed the message to read:

"This page is temporarily unavailable due to scheduled maintenance on Monday, March 8, 2010"

I don't personally believe much in formal conspiracies, just conspiracies of consciousness achieved by everyone involved understanding marching orders that don't actually need to be spelled out since that might create evidence of criminality.

In this case, I prefer to think they are just bunglers and not smart enough to plot this. But then as the saying goes, you can't spell W-R-O-N-G without R-O-N.

Put aside for the moment, if you can, City Hall's well-documented mismanagement, its failure to respond to its budget crisis until it was completely out of control and its sweetheart deals with unions, contractors, consultants and developers.

A good case can be made that our elected representatives are guilty of both misfeasance and malfeasance in office and should be recalled or rejected by voters for what they have done.

Over the last two years, I believe I have made a plausible case in those regards. But the more important question is how we are going to get out of this mess with the quality of our lives without suffering permanent damage, without destroying our own economic futures.

I suggested the only way out is for all city unions to take a step back financially and the public to take a step forward financially, something that can only be engineered by sharing power with business, labor and the community since our elected officials have lost all credibility.

But that clearly is not City Hall's way judging from the plan that has been put forward to destroy the Neighborhood Council movement, slash services, eliminate nearly 7,000 jobs and give tax breaks and incentives to businesses that can leave town or set up in town while burdening those stuck here along with the four million residents with higher rates, fees, taxes and penalties.

It's crazy when you think about it, insane since it shows they don't know the difference between right and wrong, insane since they have lost touch with reality.

All of the measures being undertaken by City Hall depend on the economy returning to "normal" within a few years, "normal" being as it was in the boom years of 2006-07.

When, then, is the economy going to return to "normal"?

Never!

Apart from all else that City Hall has done, and is doing, wrong, that is the fatal flaw.

My friend Mark Barnhill made that point as a panelist at a conference on the private equity landscape in Beverly Hills last week.

He made the point that this is a transformative moment in history, that the "old normal" is not coming back, a "new normal" is evolving in uncertain ways.

Globalization, technology, overpopulation, environmental change are all factors but perhaps the most important for America is the loss of manufacturing capacity. We no longer own the means of production. We no longer create wealth, we consume it as evidenced by our long-term staggering trade deficits and borrowing.

Los Angeles faces serious challenges of its own: Its boom-and-bust and growth-at-any-price economic patterns, its loss of financial institutions and manufacturing, its high poverty and jobless rates, its dramatic loss of TV and film production.

Even in comparison to other cities in the county, LA is at a serious disadvantage because of its high taxation policies and high rents for housing and commercial space.