Welcome to the doghouse, Ben Austin.
Just days ago you were chowing down with
Steve Lopez of The Dog Trainer, explaining how you were going to fix our schools after you were elected to the LAUSD board.
Unfortunately, you failed math -- and geography. Big time.
According to Howard Blume and David Zahniser, to other Dog Trainer reporters who've you've undoubtedly nibbled with during your stints as deputy mayor and political consultant, you shot yourself in the paw by not submitting enough valid signatures to qualify for the ballot.
And you waited until the last day to do it. Didn't your mother ever tell you not to procrastinate?
And Austin, who has in the past represented Rob Reiner, shortly before he was kicked off the First Five Commission (link) and our City Attorney Rocky Delgadillo during his career-killing problems, didn't just miss by a little in his attempt to replace Marlene Cantor, who's quitting. He missed by a lot! And he missed by miles!
It seems he turned in more than 900 signatures. He only needed 500. Easy, right? Nope. He was 105 short - which means he turned in 505 invalid signatures, most of them from the wrong district!
Didn't this guy have Google maps?
For some reason, his wife Tracy, not Ben, explained the screw up in an email to a lot of important people in LA who had given him lots of money for his now dead campaign. And taking full responsibility for the mistake, she blamed the consultant.
"I am so sorry to tell you guys this, especially after all of your hard work, but the signature gathering firm we hired, Burnside & Associates, apparently collected signatures in the wrong district and then validated them in the wrong district, so we didn't qualify for the ballot," said wife Tracy, also a political consultant.
What's this "we" stuff? Were they running as a team? Next time, she may want to dump him and go it alone.
And Ben, who fancies himself as something of a political communications expert, had this to say to the Dog Trainer late yesterday:
"I can't talk right now. I'm sorry. I've got to go."
Somebody call Bartlett's. This guy makes barking sound articulate.
The following day he added that he was "sad" and threatened to sue Burnside.
What makes all of this interesting is that Ben, somewhat of an eccentric who never misses the annual Burning Man Festival (somebody's going to have to explain that to this dog), was being backed by our own Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa, our own former Mayor Dick Riordan and our favorite billionaire education activist and art collector Eli Broad.
And it's too late for anyone else to enter the race.
So Antonio, Dick, Eli and all the people on Tracy's email -- which I am polite enough, especially for a dog, not to embarrass by naming, although there are some good ones! - I'd like you to meet one candidate who has qualified: Marshall High School teacher and community activist Steve Zimmer, who has the backing of -- get ready to laugh your tails off - the United Teachers of Los Angeles, the district's teachers union!
If you don't know why that's funny, you shouldn't be reading this blog.
Woof.
Ron Kaye is the former editor of the Los Angeles Daily News where he spent 23 years helping to make the newspaper the voice of the San Fernando Valley and fighting for a city government that serves the people and not special interests.
Twice in recent years, Los Angeles Magazine listed Kaye among the city’s most influential people, specifically in the area of politics. Kaye has been variously described in the media as the “accidental anarchist,” “the Patrick Henry of the San Fernando Valley” and a “passionate populist.” He is now committed to
carrying on his crusade for a greater Los Angeles as an ordinary citizen. Previously, Ron worked at the Los Angeles Herald Examiner,
Associated Press, Cleveland Plain Dealer and The Australian as well as papers
in Fairbanks, Alaska and Yakima, Wash. He also wrote for Newsweek magazine, The Guardian in London and the National Enquirer.
The embarrassing chain of events shows he's incompetent and a blame-shifter -- key qualifications for this school board...
Cripes, how incompetent is this guy? The bar is already set so low for qualifying for the ballot that it might as well be underground.
Remember, Melrose Larry Green qualified enough signatures to get on the ballot for the mayoral election in 2001. I hear Zuma Dogg has qualified for this year's mayoral ballot.
The Mendoza Line for elected office now runs through Ben Austin...
Just heard that Guillermo Huesca didn't make the ballot for CD7 because his campaign manager, David Hernandez, was too busy getting signatures for himself!
4 more years of Alarcon, folks. Send Mr. Hernandez a personal thank-you note by not voting for him and voting for Zuma Dogg for Mayor.
I'd place the blame on the selection of their campaign organizer, Burnside & Associates. Sounds like wifey ("a political consultant") made the selection, and an "affirmative action" one at that...
Politically Correct Campaign Organizer
...
Among the highlights of Burnside's historic campaign wins: Senator John Kerry for President's victory in the state of Oregon in 2004; an independent expenditure PAC that moved Colorado's House and Senate back to the Democratic column; Vice President Al Gore's 2000 victory in the state of New Mexico; Wendy Greuel for Los Angeles City Council 2001, a special election decided by a 225-vote win margin in a post-election canvass; Joe Baca for Congress 1999; Lois Capps for Congress in 1998; L.A. Unified's Proposition BB in 1997, the second attempt by the School District to pass the largest local school bond in California history; Jane Harman for Congress 1994 -- an election was so close that Harman's opponent traveled to Washington expecting to be sworn in, only to return to the district two weeks later after Harman's come-from-behind victory created by Burnside's vote-by-mail program; and Tom Hayden for Senate 1992, with the underdog Hayden beating the better-funded incumbent Hirsch Rosenthal by 582 votes.
Sue Burnside grew up in Southern California and got her start in politics as an organizer in the 1986 Santa Monica rent control war while studying political science and philosophy at USC. She's currently a Co-Chair of the National Gay and Lesbian Victory fund VCB board.
It's "fancies" not "fancy's." You may want to edit before you submit. By the way, you know nothing about Ben Austin.
I can't wait for a dog's day to come true if I ever have the chance to take a big bite out of Rob Reiner's big fat ass. G-R-R-R-R-R-R-R!
I, too, never heard of Ben Austin before reading this, but it sounds like through his own arrogance and lack of being prepared (obviously, he was never a Boy Scout)is unlike we dogs, who are always prepared by sniffing out our territory and hiding extra bones, just in case. Woof!
Sounds like you L.A. human-types are well rid of Austin...for the time being.
Also, grrrrrrrrrrr, Zuma Dogg is the least of the people who qualified to run for mayor, inspite of his most honorable name and dog trick antics.
The top dog and lover of dogs everywhere is Walter Moore, who has qualified with enough signatures and -- more importantly -- qualifies to receive matching funds.
Waltermooreformayor.com
Grrrrrrrrrrr!
G. Shepherd