Bruno’s only interaction with the French was with a tan poodle behind a Burger King on Sherman Way. She was cute, but somewhat haughty, and expected me to treat her like the current First Lady of France.
Bruno? No way. I’m American through and through.
That’s why this morning’s stunner in the Dog Trainer by David Zahniser, who appears to be the last Dog Trainer reporter who does any actual reporting, put the hair up on my ugly back.
According to DZ (that’s how “insiders” refer to Zahniser, and this dog is definitely inside) the City Council is weighing a plan to issue a $30-million loan that would allow the owner of the Hollywood & Highland shopping mall to retrofit a theater so it can house a decade of performances by Cirque du Soleil.
Thirty millions bucks for a French circus! I thought we were broke.
According to the proposal, the CIM Group, which owns Hollywood & Highland but leases the Kodak Theatre within the mall, hopes to bring the acrobatic performances to the venue starting in 2011.
If you’re not outraged yet, listen to this: If you want to attend the French circus in Hollywood, which I thought was already a circus, it will cost you $110 per ticket.
And how much you want to bet none of the people hired to fill the 858 promised jobs would be able to pack the family in the car some weekend for French circus fun. It would cost $440 for a family of four, before parking and getting the kids some crepes and miniature Eiffel Towers and Cirque du Soleil berets at the souvenir stand.
And there aren’t even any elephants! Hear that Tony Cardenas? There aren’t any elephants.
The folks at CIM Group really have huge testicules, as the French would say. (If you have to look it up, you’re too dumb for even this column.) Who are these guys? And why would they expect the taxpayers to help their business? Who do they think they are? Phil Anschutz or Tim Leiweke? (If you have to look them up, you’re definitely not an insider.)
Council President Eric Garcetti has already thrown his support behind the loan, saying Cirque du Soleil will be a major tourist draw.
”People will come to L.A. just for this,” said Garcetti, whose district includes the Hollywood mall.
I think Eric’s tights are too tight and they’ve cut off circulation to his brain. (He does look a little like an acrobat, doesn’t he? Kind of lithe.) Yeah, somebody’s going to fly here to plunk down more than $100 to see a show that plays all over the world. Maybe Eric fell from his trapeze. Normally the guy makes sense, even if he did join the Navy when he was old enough to be an admiral.
Sometimes it appears the only person on our City Council with any brains – get ready for this – is Dennis Zine, who is obviously a Bruno fan.
Zine questioned the wisdom (wisdom?) of putting so much loan money into a single project. With Sacramento lawmakers raiding city redevelopment funds to balance the state budget, neighborhoods are at risk of losing money for economic development projects, he said.
Dennis is somewhat better looking than Bruno, but the guy’s got a similar bark.