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Bruno, LA’s Watchdog: Loving L.A. — A Great Place for Stray Dogs and Fat Cats


Forgive my pal Ron, he
doesn’t know any better. He’s only human.

He complains all the time
about how LA is all messed up but that’s exactly why I love LA. I wouldn’t be
here today  if this place was run right. I wouldn’t be enjoying the
good dog life that I have. I wouldn’t even be alive.

Here’s the story:  As some of you may know, I showed up
at Ron’s house a long time ago and hid  in the bushes as much as I could
except when I was hungry. People would scream
and run away when they saw me scrounging for food and I heard that they kept
calling the dogcatcher.

But no one came, thank God. I’d have been a
goner if they did their job right  It was my lucky day when Saint Deb took pity
on me and made me part of the family.

Ron complains about almost everything but I like that
the street trees don’t get trimmed, who needs those guys with their noisy
machines..I like that the sidewalks are
crumbling. People trip and fall and drop food on the ground for me. More garbage on the streets, less maintenance
- a dog’s mantra.
Saint Deb walks me every
morning – we see a lot of things. She
doesn’t think its right that our neighbors leave their garbage cans out on the
street all week. What if everybody did that? But she gets even by throwing all my good
smelling stuff in them. I wish she’d leave it on the grass so the other dogs
would know who’s boss around here.
There’s always something
going on in our neighborhood. 
First, we got the Orange Line (more people, more waste, more people
tripping on the sidewalks). Now, they’re widening Winnetka bridge and building
a park for me along the L.A. river. Neighbors keep telling Saint Deb how much
they hate people walking by their backyards all of a sudden. All I know is
it’s a place to let loose and run when nobody’s around before the sun comes
up. Dennis Zine and Jerry Brown are great guys for putting up those signs for
me to mark with my scent.
Life is so good here you’d
think an old guy like Ron would get it. He’s been a bum like me. No gratitude
for the small things in life. All I
hear is how things are going to the dogs. He just doesn’t get it: The worse
things get around here, the better things are for me.

I’m one lucky dog, alright, just
like Eli Broad and all those fat cats Ron gives a hard time to. If somebody
wants to throw me a bone, I take it. I don’t know why everybody can’t be like
me and go outside, find some garbage on the streets, ask for handouts, have
some fun and then take a nap.

This is LA, kids, a place where a dog can
be free!

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13 Responses to Bruno, LA’s Watchdog: Loving L.A. — A Great Place for Stray Dogs and Fat Cats

  1. Anonymous says:

    Bruno is like a whole lot of us here and everywhere, and he asks “what’s the problem”?
    Right and wrong make no difference, I get up in the morning and get to bed at night. It is their PROBLEM.

  2. CouncilCat says:

    “I don’t know why everybody can’t be like me and go outside, find some garbage on the streets, ask for handouts, have some fun and then take a nap.” Isn’t this what City politicians already do?

  3. G. Shepherd says:

    Ah, my friend Bruno, what to these humans know?
    Your Pal,

  4. Anonymous says:

    “”"”As he prepares to make his sixth State of the City address this week, Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa is expected to return to a more comfortable theme, one that diverts attention from the city’s budget problems”"
    This is why LA is soooooo screwed up. Does this Failure of a Mayor really think we’re so naive we dont’ know what a mess he’s made of our City with his lack of leadership. Everyone should read Doug McIntyre’s Opinion Daily News about the gangsters in Dodger Stadium has our politicians as role models so it shouldn’t surprise anyone. What a bunch of classless morons. Bruno could probably run the city better then those goons.

  5. Anonymous says:

    You dumb Bruno, you are in the wrong house. Have the Mayor adopt you and your life will change dramatically. Instead of crumbs, you will feed on tax-payer paid filet mignon and where an 8-foot high block wall, paid by the dumb LA taxpayers will guard the house. You lucky dog! I’ll envy your rich lifestyle.

  6. Antonio from Hancock Park says:

    Hey–watch that criticzism—I spend weeks writing those speeches! Remember–Me: WINNER–FREE WINE, FOOD, AND MANSION, You: LOSER–AND LOSERS PAY IN L.A! I had an Epifamy (notice I’m expandin’ mi vocabulario) and I see that I have to leave in 2013 for another public job! That’s not fair–I’ll have to run for Kontroller and get another 8 years of free stuff for me and AEG!

  7. Anonymous says:

    What I find truly fascinating is the fact the Clowncil members, the Failue of a Mayor, the Failure of both City Controller and City Attorney add the DA Cooley all have read the bad publicity about all of them. Any other human being with a conscience would change their behavior knowing they’ve been outed for their corrupt dealings and their lack of competence. But for some reason these clowns continue to behave and deal dirty politics every day. A college student told me its because they a have ll “Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a personality disorder.The narcissist is described as being excessively preoccupied with issues of personal adequacy, power, prestige and vanity. [2] Narcissistic personality disorder is closely linked to self-centeredness.

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