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The State of the Union Speech You’ll Never Hear

My Fellow Americans:

It is time we come clean about where we are and where we are
going.  I can no longer keep up the
pretense that everything is going to be alright just like that by snapping our
fingers. The world is changing and we have to change with it.

Early on in my term as President, I started a process to end
the era of American imperialism but I was timid about just coming out and
saying that we no longer can impose our will on other nations through the use
of our military and economic might as we have tried to so for so long.

I say to you tonight, we are a great nation among the league
of nations, committed to working together with other with respect to bring
about peace and prosperity around the world. If there were any doubt about
this, the globalization of technology and trade and the ability of even a small
cadre of terrorists to inflict great horror should make it clear to one and


The lowered expectations we must embrace globally are
reflected in the lowered expectations we must embrace domestically. We no
longer create wealth, we consume it, and so we must be better managers of what
we have.  We must go back to the roots of
what are forefathers saw as the birthright of all, the rights to life, liberty
and the pursuit of happiness.

We need to work less and have more fun. We need to be happy
earning less and having fewer things and more connect with friends and family
and the people in our neighborhoods. Our lives for too long have been measured
by the size of our houses, the speed of our cars, by how much we can
conspicuously consume of the material world.

The great opportunity of our time is to end the civil war
that is tearing us apart and to nurture the ties that bind us together as a
nation. Toward that end I am inviting the leading Republican candidates to the White
House and offering them the chance to join a coalition government with me so
that we can together tackle the complex array of problems we face.

Our challenges will not be met by people in high places. It
will depend on every one of us to reach out and find the common ground where we
can begin to world a new America, an America where each one of feels ownership
stake, feels hope that tomorrow will be a better day.

So let’s get to work rebuilding America with less greed and
more loving kindness for each other.

God Bless America.

Addendum Email:

Before I speak tonight 

Barack Obama to me
show details 4:21 PM (28 minutes ago)

Ron –

I’m heading to Capitol Hill soon to deliver my third State of the Union address.

Before I go, I want to say thanks for everything you’re doing.

Tonight, we set the tone for the year ahead. I’m going to lay out in
concrete terms the path we need to take as a country if we want an
economy that works for everyone and rewards hard work and

I’m glad to know you’ll be standing with me up there.


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8 Responses to The State of the Union Speech You’ll Never Hear

  1. Anonymous says:

    Ron, I watched. I didn’t see you standing up there with him. Did you get stuck in D.C. traffic?

  2. POTUS OBAMA says:

    Thanks Ron for helping me write my FINAL State of the Union Speech! God, I’m going to miss all the prestige and power of being God (oops, I mean Prez of the USA “POTUS.”) Michelle sends her love to you and Bruno! I know gas prices are going up to $5/gallon this Summer and that the million plus homeowners I said I’d help are going to get jipped out of their houses. I know the Supreme Court is going to throw out the HealthCare Bill too this Summer. Some crazy Republican will run vs. Me and squeek in. I wish Ron Paul would run 3rd party—I’d pay for his campaign so I could split the vote and get in!
    Mayor Villaraigoso would make a GREAT Secretary of State, but, we’ll we all can HOPE!
    I’ll do my best for you Ron to win! Thanks for being a hardcore supporter of the Left, I knew you wouldn’t let me down.

  3. Anonymous says:

    I believe Ron is being sarcastic in this message. I read his message and then heard the “holier than Thou” speech last night. I am
    sure the uninformed will vote for Obama based on his speech. I have no idea who our next President will be. But it shows how very important our own participation is. This is
    “MY Country, Tis of Thee” time and essential that we who understand how fortunate we are to live here unite rather than blame and argue with each other. That is my point of view and I am sharing my thoughts with you all. God Bless America.

  4. Anonymous says:

    Standby for traffic jams.
    Isn’t Michelle coming to do fund raising in LA next Tuesday & Wednesday?

  5. Anonymous says:

    8:42–this is what you suckers in LA are good for-ATM for Obama.
    What is your *real* unemployment rate nowadays ? 20%. ? Anybody is hiring for good pay jobs?

  6. Anonymous says:

    Ron ‘Woodrow Wilson” Kaye

  7. Anonymous says:

    Ron “Karl” Kaye??

  8. Anonymous says:

    Why do people think snark makes them look smart?

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